Title: The Autobiography of MethuselahAuthor: John Kendrick Bangs (American, 1862-1922)
Originally published: 1909
Page count: 98
Dates read: 8/14/19 and 8/18/19 (3.5 hours read aloud)
2019 book goal progress: 20 out of 41
Back to the Classics category: Classic Comedy
Read my other book reviews for the challenge HERE.
Description on back of book:
I, Methuselah - George W. Methuselah, that is. I, the oldest man of all time, am setting down my story here. Not in hieroglyphics, mind you, for I am no draftsman. I have chosen English because French, Spanish, and German haven't come into being yet. The reason why I didn't choose Esperanto is contained herein.
Here, for your edification, are my memories of my great, great, great grandfather and grandmother Adam and his madam. (Eve, that is!) The true story of Cain and Abel? Look no further! And you'll want to hear the story of how my father, Enoch, named me. As Granpa Adam might have said, it's a rib-tickler! You'll be treated to my poetry, the genuine tale of my grandson Noah and that damp business with the Ark and... But enough! You're not getting any younger! Read! Enjoy already!
First sentence:
"Having recently passed into what my great-grandson Shem calls my Anecdotage, it has occurred to that perhaps some of the recollections of a more or less extended existence upon this globular mass of dust and water that we are pleased to call the earth, may prove of interest to posterity, and I have accordingly, at the earnest solicitation of my grandson, Noah, and his sons, Shem, Ham, and Japhet, consented to put them into permanent literary form."
Favorite quotes:
"In view of the facts that at this writing, ink and paper and pens have not as yet been invented, I have been compelled to make use of hammer and chisel, to gouge out my 'Few Remarks' upon such slabs of stone as I can find. Let us hope that my story will not prove as heavy as my manuscript."
"I must confess that it has always been a nice question with me whether or not when a man expresses a wish that the rain may be dammed, he voices a desire for its everlasting condemnation, or the mere placing in its way of an impediment which shall prevent its further overflow."
"I think it is undesirable for a young girl to enter too hastily into the obligations of matrimony, or to marry the first man that comes along, unless she is absolutely sure that he is the only man she could possibly endure through three meals a day for the balance of her life."
"When my grandson Noah first began to show signs of mental aberration on the subject of a probable flood that would sweep everything before it, and put the whole world out of business save those who would take shares in his International Marine and Zoo Flotation Company, I endeavored to dissuade him in every possible way from so suspicious an enterprise."
CAWPILE Rating: Overall - 8 - ⭐⭐⭐⭐
Characters - 9
Atmosphere - 7
Writing Style - 10
Plot - 5
Intrigue - 9
Logic - 6
Enjoyment - 10
What is a CAWPILE Rating?
Review:
This is a wonderfully hilarious book! If you try to take it seriously, you won't like it - it's meant to be funny and you can't think it through too much. It has incredibly clever wordplay which often had me (and my husband, who I read it to) laughing. It explains why prehistoric animals such as the dinosaurs, legendary animals such as griffons, and other made-up animals went extinct (spoiler: it's not because of the flood). Methuselah alludes to things that should be invented such as electricity, steam power, cars, and newspapers (he doesn't use those terms).
Bangs wrote the book as if Methusela wrote the autobiography in biblical times, but it still includes a good number of modern references - many of which probably went over my head because 'modern' to Bangs was over a century ago from today - which, though it made the book less logical, greatly increased the humor. For example, there are several mentions of Women's Suffrage, mostly from a spinster and generally negative view - but that was a controversial topic in Bangs time and Methuselah lives in a very patriarchal time period and culture (and it's a comedy style that pokes fun at others - remember: it's not supposed to be taken seriously).
I would highly suggest reading this book, especially if you're familiar with the stories of Adam and Eve, Cain and Abel, and Noah's Ark. The book read like a script for Monty Python (the humor is similar) - so if you like their videos, you'd probably like this book as well.
Bangs wrote the book as if Methusela wrote the autobiography in biblical times, but it still includes a good number of modern references - many of which probably went over my head because 'modern' to Bangs was over a century ago from today - which, though it made the book less logical, greatly increased the humor. For example, there are several mentions of Women's Suffrage, mostly from a spinster and generally negative view - but that was a controversial topic in Bangs time and Methuselah lives in a very patriarchal time period and culture (and it's a comedy style that pokes fun at others - remember: it's not supposed to be taken seriously).
I would highly suggest reading this book, especially if you're familiar with the stories of Adam and Eve, Cain and Abel, and Noah's Ark. The book read like a script for Monty Python (the humor is similar) - so if you like their videos, you'd probably like this book as well.
Now I'm off to read another book... but since a review should be more about the author of the book than about the writer of the blog, I will let John Kendrick Bangs have the last words:
"It was Abel who asked his father why he had not named the male ants uncles, a question to this day has not been satisfactorily answered. Zoology might have been a far simpler science in the matter of nomenclature had Adam been surrounded with inquiring minds like those of Cain and Abel. Why, for instance, should a creature that is found chiefly on the Nile, and never under any circumstances on the Rhine, be called a Rhinoceros? And why should a Caribou be called a Caribou entirely irrespective of sex? There are Caribou of both sexes, when we might have had Caribou for one and Billibou for the other, yet Adam has feminized the whole Bou family with no apparent thought about the matter at all. Then there is the animal which he called the Bear. He is not bare at all - on the contrary, he wears the shaggiest coat of all the animals, except possibly the Buffalo, who, by the way, is not buff, but a rather dirty dull brownish-black in color. The Panther does not wear pants, and the Monkey far from suggesting the habits of a Monk is a roistering, philanderous old rounder that would disgrace a heathen temple, much less adorn a Monastery. And finally, if there is anything lower than a Hyena, or less coy than a coyote, I don't know what is."
"It was Abel who asked his father why he had not named the male ants uncles, a question to this day has not been satisfactorily answered. Zoology might have been a far simpler science in the matter of nomenclature had Adam been surrounded with inquiring minds like those of Cain and Abel. Why, for instance, should a creature that is found chiefly on the Nile, and never under any circumstances on the Rhine, be called a Rhinoceros? And why should a Caribou be called a Caribou entirely irrespective of sex? There are Caribou of both sexes, when we might have had Caribou for one and Billibou for the other, yet Adam has feminized the whole Bou family with no apparent thought about the matter at all. Then there is the animal which he called the Bear. He is not bare at all - on the contrary, he wears the shaggiest coat of all the animals, except possibly the Buffalo, who, by the way, is not buff, but a rather dirty dull brownish-black in color. The Panther does not wear pants, and the Monkey far from suggesting the habits of a Monk is a roistering, philanderous old rounder that would disgrace a heathen temple, much less adorn a Monastery. And finally, if there is anything lower than a Hyena, or less coy than a coyote, I don't know what is."
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